The chill day. This is the day that I have come to appreciate in my trips as this is the day that it is all about taking it easy and just let things "float".
This day started out with what I call "Partially Gelatinated Non-Dairy Gum-Based Beverages" of doughnuts, aka Tim Hortons. In my neck of the woods, we only have Dunkin Donuts (and at one time, many Krispy Kreme's, until the day of the Miami-fast-food-exclusivity-due-to-local-consumers-being-afraid-to-try-something-different massacre happened, leaving only 3 locations beyond my convenient reach, fuck you Miami.). On this day, a stereotype was going to unfold as true.
This day started out with what I call "Partially Gelatinated Non-Dairy Gum-Based Beverages" of doughnuts, aka Tim Hortons. In my neck of the woods, we only have Dunkin Donuts (and at one time, many Krispy Kreme's, until the day of the Miami-fast-food-exclusivity-due-to-local-consumers-being-afraid-to-try-something-different massacre happened, leaving only 3 locations beyond my convenient reach, fuck you Miami.). On this day, a stereotype was going to unfold as true.
Here's the starting lineup to the beginning of my day, very presentable.
Here's the fellowship of the northern border baked alliance with the caffeinated napalm doomsday device in tow. Introducing (from left to right) Boston À L'érable (Boston Cream), Roussette au miel (Honey Cruller), Glacé au miel (Honey Glazed). When consumed, the stereotype of Canadians consuming colossal amounts of maple syrup has unraveled itself to me, and this is one stereotype I can support. The taste? Familiar with a twist (like the city I am visiting), and very "clean" compared to Dunkin Donuts.
Next on the tour is La Ronde, Montreal's Six Flags theme park.
I don't think I have to mention which rule made me laugh the most. In case you didn't get it, #@&% #@$ @$$#@!# (I am not talking Qbertese either).
When I walked up to the pole with arrows, take a guess which ride got first dibs?
Promoting something diabolical. Metalocity credenitals checked and verified \m/
They really need to open a chain of poutine restaurants and have this guy as its mascot. Ronald McDonalds days are numbered.
Le Vampire. One would think Bruce Wayne designed this place, and for all the right reasons such conclusion can be "assumed". Bob Kane reference aside, this ride was the most Metal in the park, with its color scheme, name, and the entrance being the final credential needed to put this ride over the others (and the others were Metal as well. More on them later).
Accentuating the entrance credential further.
Another ride that earned its Metalocity was Le Cobra. It's credentials, the fact its named after a Metal animal and you "stand" while riding.
Dragon. This ride is "deceptively ridiculous". The outside looked medieval, the noise of a heavy dragon breath emanating from it was "spot on", and the logo helped its case. So why was it "deceptively ridiculous"? Because the ride was "retarded". The rollercoaster was one of those kiddie-coasters inside a building. It was almost dark, with sporadic red lights, bad recorded noises and the grand finale was a downward whirl track with 2 "retarded" looking alligators in the middle of the tracks. Calling them dragons would be an offense to the Khaleesi.
Now this ride definitely lived up to its name. Goliath is a rollercoaster of huge proportions as it took you to the heavens and the border of hell, with a ride time length that is very fulfilling. It felt like taking a ride in a F15 Eagle with the canopy off. The name sounds familiar in this tale of finding things that are Metal outside of the music.
Mondoux. Sounds like the name of a French Power Metal Band, but it's actually a candy store inside a fort, now that's Metal.
Ednor. The umlauts on its name is enough to push this candidates qualifications over the border, but the ride is named after a sea monster, giving it an additional boost.
This shark was next to the log ride, and considering it's angered temperament and demeanor, it needs a vacation from this vacation getaway.
This ride has a "unique" reputation in my travel. This was the ride with "no name", since there was no entrance card announcing the ride you were getting on. It was also boring compared to the mega-coasters it was competing for the attention of the park visitors, and "felt" (I know this because I rode it, that's why you are getting the nitty gritty of this ride) unsafe with screeching brakes and the heavier-than-normal rust. This was a coaster waiting to have a hip busted.
One thing I saw in this park that kept bugging was the bubble tea. I have seen it before in my city, but never tried it. After having it rubbed in my face for too long, I needed to get the curiosity out of my system. Why did I wait this long to try one is beyond my comprehension, but the punishment fits the crime.
On my way to the mecca of desserts, I encountered something I have seen before thousands of miles away. There is no way I can be in 2 different places and find the same restaurant with no intentions of looking for it in the first place.
Rockaberry. Don't let the name fool you, it has no connections to the world of Rock Music (thus severing its only tie to the world of Heavy Metal), but what it lacks in qualifications more than makes up for it in its offering.
As crazy as it sounds, their meals are not the center of attention. The chicken sandwich was tasty, and the potato wedges helped its case considerably, but it was Rockaberry's signature item that was gonna stake its place in good restaurants.
The pies. These aren't your run-of-the-mill pies. These are pies injected with steroids (If someone told me this about their pies, I would believe in a heart just by looking at it.).
Here's is one of 2 pies that will serves as the restaurants primary ambassadors to my stomach. The double chocolate cheese pie.
The other is the Oreo Cheese pie.
Take a look at this pic and tell me just looking at it doesn't inspire a heart attack through the stomach. The taste on this animal was overwhelming, and it took some time to slam down. Considering what I have consumed, you'd figure I would stop, but stubbornness got the better of me.
The Oreo Cheese Pie. God knows how many Oreo cookies had to be sacrificed to make this dessert happen, but if it takes a genocidal level of Oreos cookies to make this pie, than by all means begin the massacre. What scared me about this was the cheese intermingling with something that had Oreo, and Rockaberry managed to pull it off. Finally, 2 things I like coming together in harmony.
After Rockaberry, it was time to head off to the hostel for some more sleep I like talking about. I feel the last pic is the best way to end this post.
To be continued...
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